May 27, 2008
Have you noticed how buying books can turn into a nuisance. Once the books are on the shelves, sooner or later the little darlings beckon to be read. And sooner or later the impulse overtakes you to concede. Wouldn’t it be far more practical to have a library of books that offers its compliments to learning without actually tempting you to engage it? Inspired by the Dummy Book Company, I am recommending that IVP Academic begin offering our customers a full array of faux books to adorn their dens, studies or office walls. Consider it intellectual wallpaper.
Others of you may aspire to greater virtue. Having converted your print library into electronic assets, neatly stored on your teensy little hard drive, you are feeling a bit let down. It’s the sensation of having traded in your bibliophilic birthright for a paltry patch of silicon. Your office now lacks the gravitas that should adorn the professorate or the professional ministry. Faux books would be the answer for you too. And rather than those garish colored spines of the 80s, we can turn your office into a regular Duke Humphrey’s collection of Oxford Bodleian fame. We’re talking major gravitas here. Big time.
Whether you want to toast the intellect or project your image, I am recommending that IVP Academic begin by offering the Reformed, the Lutheran and the Anglican Eclectic faux library options. And for those of you with grander pretensions, we will later roll out the Migne Patrologia Graeca (162 volumes) and the Patrologia Latina series (221 volumes). There are all kinds of possibilities here.
Then, for orders of faux libraries of 10 x 12 feet or greater, we will include a framed degree from Saint Hupokrites Institute of Theology (please specify DD, ThD or PhD).